Develop Patience, Starting Now

You wish you had more patience, but frustrated at the methods you’ve tried and nothing seems to be working? I used to have more patience growing up, and it seems to fade a bit as adulthood goes on. I look at my moments of impatience as orcs that need to be destroyed.

When you look at the concept of patience, one thing that strikes me is that the core of patience is kindness/selflessness. Truly patient people seem to be saints, right? 

So, the core of impatience can be seen as selfishness, a mentality that your time is more important than the next person’s or whatever the situation is.

The one method to developing patience from the root up is to choose kindness. 

Kindness for Yourself

Yes, being impatient with yourself is rude. You’re human, mistakes will happen. None of us will reach true perfection. So, when you notice you’re getting angry with yourself, take a breather, and choose to treat yourself with kindness and try again.

Some thoughts to keep close in these moments are: ‘I am human, I can learn from my mistakes. I can try again. I am capable of growing.‘

If you’re constantly impatient with yourself, try to look at the underlying cause. Why are you this critical? When you identify the root of the impatience with yourself, that’s where you focus your efforts. 

I realize that could be another project alone, and that’s alright. As long as right now, you recognize that being impatient with yourself is not in fact constructive, you’re already on the right path. 

Kindness for People

Everyone has a life they’re running. Even if it looks nothing like yours. Some people seem to have a knack for getting in everyone’s way. When confronted by this, if possible, take a step back and choose to be kind to that person.

I know first hand this is a hard process. I grew up making most of my routine as efficient as possible, and carrying that into the adult world made for interesting experiences with others.

Remember that every person has a whole life of their own they’re dealing with. And yes, there are those individuals who are just out filling their time. As annoying as it can be when you’re in a rush, they have the right to do just that.

If you find yourself constantly in a rush, you might need to make adjustments to your routine, if it’s feasible. This will improve your time management, creating a better window to fulfilling your public errands. Naturally, this will make it easier to get them done in a much calmer manner.

Think of times when you’re in the middle of something, you might be in some stranger’s way. Would you want them to treat you with understanding, or act like you’re one of the biggest idiots on the planet simply for being in their way?

When you can see the people around you as having lives of their own, and remember that someone else could see you as the problem, that perspective helps you choose to be kinder, and in so doing, build the patience within yourself.

Kindness for Situations

So, what on earth do I mean by this? Look at the situation you’re frustrated with. Even when you’re caught up in the emotions, there’s a calmer way to approach it. 

Is your project falling apart? Vehicle having problems? Bank account running on empty? Child won’t stop begging for the millionth snack? A random public situation that’s got you angry?

As difficult as it can be sometimes, stop what you’re doing and look at the situation as objectively as you can manage. Is there a different way you can handle it? Or is it something you just have to walk away from at this moment and take it head on when you’ve had a chance to breathe and clear your head?

Choosing the kinder route will build your patience day by day as you focus on the more important things in life. Most situations have a calm solution, the trick is to train your mind to make that choice.

When you can think to, choose to be kinder to yourself, to others, to the situation at hand, your ability to be more patient increases. The kinder you are, the calmer you are, the easier it is to be patient.

There are many methods people use to build their patience, and I’m not going to say don’t try them. I’m giving you the idea that it doesn’t have to be a complicated process of ‘try these 10 things’ or ‘try that’. I think boiling it down to one simple concept is the easier way to approach patience.

I use this method to conquer my orcs, one at a time. If you think getting control over your habits will help, grab these trackers!

Practice kindness enough, and you’ll have patience to match Yoda!